Interview With The Rabbit
January 19, 2012 § 41 Comments
Some might say writing a novel with your sister is dangerous, like waking a sleepwalker. The Rabbit herself, Becky Hepinstall Hilliker, answers some hard questions from her hutch in Virginia Beach.
After having so many babies, how does it feel to finally be involved in the miracle of life?
I kept having babies in the hopes that I would get a cute one. Having abandoned that, I am hoping that this collaboration will yield something I can brag about at the next Navy wives club meeting. Additionally, surely the drugs used to birth this baby will be more satisfying than those offered at the hospital.
How do you get your daily vitamin D requirement living in my shadow?
I get all of the sunshine I need basking in the glow of Mom’s favoritism.
It must be such an honor to be working on a novel with me. How are you dealing with your fears of unworthiness?
Considering that Dad, after a fifth of gin (or as he called it, dinner) once told me that I was only sired in case they ever needed to harvest organs for you – this is par for the course.
Can you talk a bit about the novel we are working on?
It’s a story about a girl who gets tired of living in her sister’s big-breasted shadow and involves an elaborate plot to have her declared insane and steal her money…oh wait…that’s something different I’m working on. The Girls of Shiloh is our novel, about two sisters during the Civil War and the lengths they will go to to protect, and avenge, the ones they love.
I remember the day I came up with the idea for Girls of Shiloh. I was so excited to tell you. Do you remember that day?
My Intellectual Property lawyer has advised me not to engage you on this topic. And don’t think that I didn’t intercept that computer virus you had The Phoenix plant on my computer. Plus I have made copies of all email correspondence and sent them to various relatives across the country who hate you.
What does your fighter pilot husband look like coming out of the shower?
You know that scene in Crazy, Stupid Love where Ryan Gosling takes his shirt off? It’s just like that.
When I put your name in four-point type on the cover, do you think Mom’s failing vision will see it as anything more than a clump of dust mites?
After contracting toxoplasmosis from handling the disgusting feces of that cat you dumped on her, I’m sure she wont be able to pause her hacking to look for it. It should be noted that I have never (not yet, anyway) dumped any of my spawn on her. Not even the illegitimate ones.
How do you plan to budget your time so you will be constantly available to my needs?
I have installed a state of the art feeding and watering system (akin to a fancy gerbil cage) in our hall closet. I’ve told the kids we’ll be playing hide and seek for a few months. They hide, and in a few months, I’ll seek them.