Kids: Grimy Selfish Humorless Enemies of Midlist Fiction

October 11, 2011 § 9 Comments

Not that I have anything against the keeds.  My sister the Rabbit has seventeen (by eighteen different fathers.) But sometimes they interfere with a writer’s attempt to make a living.

I was trying to think of ways to publicize my novel, Absence of Nectar, which is about two children who suspect their stepfather of trying to poison them. So I hired a bunch of college students to play dead around a bookstore, displaying a sign describing which poison killed them. How was I supposed to magically know it was also Children’s Hour? Apparently there were complaints.  The bookstore denied the link of Children’s Hour to the complaints, but I know it takes just one brat screaming I see dead people to kill a sale.

Surprising Footnote: I have never been asked to be a godmother.

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§ 9 Responses to Kids: Grimy Selfish Humorless Enemies of Midlist Fiction

  • bridget says:

    =( you would think that maybe one of those tricycle motors that Becky keeps turning out would need aunt kathy to be a Godmother … If you need to borrow one to call your ” Godchild” i have two take your pick. One is a 1950s black blues singer traped in a eight year old white girls body. The other could possible the second coming of Arlis from old yeller. Im not saying he lies or stretches the truth, but his imagination is endless 😉

  • I’m honored, Bridget. I’ll take the boy. Please send me my certificate in the mail.

  • eric a says:

    hahaha. love the photo. looks like a bad episode of CSI: Barnes & Noble.
    I read reviews of your books. i fake retched at all the love. i know envy isn’t the most endearing trait, but it’s all i’ve got left. I envy you real hard.
    Bridget’s kids sound perfect for you. but the boy? seriously? the girl sounds like American Idol gold. If I was allowed within 500 feet of a child I’d manage her.

  • jeff says:

    do you have to do this everyday in order to properly build your brand?

    • Excellent question, Jeff. I don’t know at which point a brand is “built.” And would I like that brand if I knew what it was? I will run out of ideas really fast, so I might start posting less. Or maybe this will become my full time unpaid job.

  • bridget says:

    its in the mail .lol

  • bridget says:

    Eric im sure it be ok as long as her father who is the assistant chief of police is always her body guard oh and btw she may talk slow southern but her round house kick is lethal lol. After all she is currently testing for her brown belt in karate ….dang I have done it again rambling on about how great my kids are. I always hated people that did this before i had kids. Now im fascinated that these little people ever came from me… Ick ick what a cheesy domesticated proud parent I’ve become i disgust myself. Kathy just do like everyone else doea these days just buy your self a starving third world country child whose mother never had the luxury of learning or using birth control .

  • bridget says:

    And Kathy unless this boy bulks up i seriously doubt he has a sports career since he just made it to 32 Pounds at five years old…im hoping he becomes a dr. But the way he tells tales Ill probably only get a writer for a outdoors miltia magazine….

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